Untitled, Alizwa Nazo
I just
I feel like I know who I am,
and I know I don't know why.
Just had a couple drinks with my mother,
and that's probably why.
She bought something I don't drink,
but I drank because I don't have a choice—
black child, no wild...
we never really had toys.
We connected just enough
for me to feel all these emotions,
she brought the man out in me,
fueled with concoctions.
I I still had the words,
but witchcraft is a potion.
And because I love alcohol,
I drank with no notion.
Maybe I'm the boy
who learned too early how to survive.
Maybe I'm the man
who buried things just to stay alive.
Maybe I'm the son
still trying to understand his mother.
Maybe I'm all the things
I became just to survive.
Maybe identity isn't a name,
or a face, or some declaration—
maybe it's what remains of you
after years of adaptation.
Tonight I drank,
Tonight I drank,
and somehow I felt closer to the truth:
a man sitting with his mother,
still carrying the child he used to be.
I feel like I know who I am,
and I know I don't know why.
But maybe somewhere in the morning,
I'll find the words I left behind.
— Untitled, Alizwa Nazo